Tuesday, 10 November 2015

Could you handle being a Farmers Wife?

1. The only quality time you will get to spend with your farmer is on the tractor.

2. Or in the pick-up truck, a.k.a your second home.

3. Taking your lunch out into the field, is the closest you get to a picnic. 
(It's actually better)

4. But it's not like your farmer eats anything but meat and vegetables anyway.


5. You look forward to rainy days in the Summer, just so you can spend time with your farmer. 


6. Of course, when you're starting a family you need to be organised in order to avoid giving birth during harvest time. 

7. Your Christmas turkey always arrives in with it's feathers and innards still in tact.

8. You sort the washing according to how dirty it is, rather than colour.


9. You wear nail varnish to hide the dirt under your nails.


10. There's never any vegetables in your pantry, so you have to go and dig your own.


11. Even though your garden is an absolute mess. 


12. Your washing machine packs up every harvest because it gets blocked with corn and dust.


13. A lie in is anything past 5:30am.


14. When your Farmer tells you he'll be an hour, you expect him in five.
(Somethings bound to break down, which means he'll turn up covered in mud and grease. Oh, and he will tell you to fetch the spares). 


15. Which means you have to eat dinner alone at least twice a week.


16. And even through all your kit and machinery are fitted with GPS, you can never locate you farmer.


17. The barns leaky roof always gets fixed before your house leaky roof.

18. Your forbidden from speaking during the Country File or Harvest 2015 weather report - or any other forecast for that matter.


19. Your Summer excursions include at least three agricultural shows.

20. And mostly you take holidays in other agricultural areas, so that you farmer can spy on the techniques and methods of others growers and producers.

21. Your shopping list includes items like filters, overalls, belts, lights, cables and spark plugs.


22. Your fridge is always full of medicine... for the livestock.


23. Grass stains are the least of you laundry worries.


24. But hey, at least you have legitimate excuse to wear Le Chameau wellies.



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